The Matthews Family: Truth

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Truth

Friends,

I hope that I'm really back this time, but I can't promise. I wish I could tell you that the reason that I haven't written until this point is because I've been extremely busy, but I would be lying. We HAVE had a lot going on, but not enough to prevent me from posting. Truth be told, it's been a mixture of things. I've kind of been in a rut. I don't think that I've really been putting my heart into a majority of my posts. I tell you what has been happening when I post, but I don't usually say a lot about how I'm feeling or the personal things that are going on. But, the truth of it is I've been in a rut. Jud and I have been trying to have another child for what will be two years in July with no luck. And, though I have been EXTREMELY happy for those around me that have been getting pregnant, I want to be one of these women! Every monthly, it feels like a heartbreak. And, I know there are many, many women that feel this way and I know that some women never have a child. But, I can't help feeling this way. I don't take my precious son for granted and I ADORE having him in my life, but I've REALLY been wanting another child. I know that many women go through lots of heartbreaking situations while trying to have kids of their own. These are many of the reasons that I haven't posted my true feelings. I don't want others to think that I'm putting my feelings first. But, it had really gotten me down in the dumps and I just haven't felt like writing at all. But, it's time to get back writing. It's time for me to either really share with you or close this blog down completely, and I really want to continue blogging! Please bear with me as I get back into writing and sharing as our lives move on. Thank you for sticking with me!

Amanda

1 comment:

MorganMay 6, 2011 at 9:43 PM
I have lived that heartbreak month after month so I know what you have been going through and all I can say is I'm so sorry. I don't know why it happens to some of us and not others. I don't know any great words of advice that will make all the hurt go away because honestly, I don't think there are such words. I don't know any other desire stronger than the desire to have a child. This is your blog, you shouldn't worry about what others have to say. You should put your thoughts and feelings out there. It might not change your situation but sometimes - venting makes us feel better. You know that I am here for you and am always just a phone call away.
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My 101 in 1001

My 101 in 1001

Start Date: 08/24/09
End Date: 05/21/12

Jud (My Husband)

1. Go on a date just Jud and I once a month. (0/33)
2. Identify and utilize the "Love Languages."
3. Play a full 18 holes of golf with Jud.
4. Complete the Love Dare. (0/40)
5. Kiss my husband in the pouring rain.
6. Have Jud teach me to play Texas Hold 'Em to where I understand and can play.
7. Put $5 back every time Jud plays golf.
8. Put two days a year aside to do what Jud wants to do and nothing but. (One of these days being his birthday.) (0/6)

Friends & Family
9. Go on a date with my two guys once a month. (0/33)
10. Reconnect with some old friends that I seldomly or never talk to.
11. Send out birthday cards to friends and family.
12. Get Wesley out of the house for little fieldtrips one day a week. (0/143)
13. Make a bedtime CD for Wesley.
14. Make a "Real" bedtime routine for Wesley & follow it every night for two months. (0/60)
15. Send surprise packages to at least three people that I'm close to. (0/3)
16. Get a picture of Wesley on my Great-Grandfather's old porch. (11/26/2009)
17. Send a letter to at least one friend or family member a month. (0/33)
18. Teach Wesley his colors, numbers 1-10, shapes, alphabet, and animals. (0/5)
19. Private.
20. Cook and have friends and/or family over at least every other month.
21. Plan a playdate for Wes & his cousins (or other pals) at least every other month. (0/16)

Personal Improvement
22. Read the whole Bible in one year (spread out over the year). (4/365)
23. Stay off the computer for one day a week. (0/143)
24. Memorize 1 Bible verse a week. (0/143)
25. Get up every weekday by 8 AM for two months. (4/40)
26. When I get wound up, work on not raising my voice.
27. Find a home church.
28. Girl time once a month either to myself or with others. (0/33)

Home

29. Get Wesley's room the way I want it, including or excluding, but not limited to painting and full cleaning. (08/31/09)
30. Same with Living Room.
31. Same with Kitchen.
32. Same with our Bedroom.
33. Same with the Hallway.
34. Same with the Bathroom.
35. Make a clothes washing schedule and follow it. (0/143)
36. Catalog all of my books.
37. Catalog all of our movies.
38. Set up a house cleaning schedule and follow it for 2 months. (0/8)
39. Get all VHS videos converted to DVD.
40. Go through everything in the shed & get rid of anything that's no longer needed.
41. Wash and clean out my car once a month. (Weather permitting)
42. Bathe Summer once a month & take her to get bathed and nails cut once a month. (0/33) (0/33)
43. Choose and print pictures for the picture carousel.
44. Choose and print pictures for the wood album.
45. Fill our Wedding Album.
46. Make our bed every day for 2 months within one hour of getting up. (0/60)
47. Do dishes and clean up the kitchen right after dinner every night for two months. (0/60)
48. Talk Jud into finishing the cabinet doors.
49. Work with Jud to build flower beds in our yard. (0/2)

Cooking
50. Try 25 new recipes. (0/25)
51. Organize a favorites recipe notebook.
52. Cook 572 meals over the 1001 days. (0/572)
53. Fix one recipe that requires one or more spices from my spice rack.
54. When I get my Trifle bowl, make the Chocolate Banana Cream Trifle. (09/01/09)

Health
55. Go walking or biking five days a week. (Can be exchanged for an inside exercise activity due to weather.) (4/715)
56. Do WII Fit two days a week. (0/286)
57. Track my weight twice a week. (Sundays & Thursdays, when possible) (0/286)
58. Cut down to one soda a day for a month. (0/30)
59. Fit comfortably in a size 12 again.
60. Brush AND use mouthwash twice a day. (4/1001)
61. No fast food for two weeks straight. (0/14)

Photography
62. Take one picture a day that has nothing to do with the list. (4/1001)
63. Complete the 100 Snapshots List. (0/100)
64. Catch up on backing up my pictures on my external hard drive & keep them caught up every month.
65. Have 1 picture taken of Wesley and I together every month and 1 family picture once a month. (0/33) (0/33)
66. Decide on & order Business cards.
67. Scan all of our hard copy pictures to my laptop & external hard drive.
68. Find all of the historical markers in Shelby county & take pictures.

Crafts
69. Put together our Wedding Scrapbook.
70. Put together a scrapbook for Wesley's first year.
71. Make a scrapbook for the 1001 Days.
72. Make a scrapbook for our trip to Las Vegas.
73. Make a scrapbook for our Honeymoon.
74. Create a family tree of my side of the family.
75. Create a family tree of Jud's side of the family and, then, combine the two.
76. Learn how to decorate cakes & make a birthday cake for Wesley.

Fun
77. Read the 15 books that I own, but have not read. (0/15)
78. Reread each of the series to the above books.
79. Read 15 of Times Magazines Top 100 Books. (0/15)
80. Participate in the Club Championship at least once. (0/1)
81. Find 101 quotes that I like. (0/101)
82. Write a book.
83. Go to the horse races in Shreveport and bet on a horse.
84. Start & Complete a 1000 piece puzzle.
85. Pet a dolphin.
86. Watch 26 movies that I've never seen from A-Z. (0/26)
87. Read at least 10 books in my collection, excluding any mentioned elsewhere in the list. (0/12)
88. Read all of Jane Austen's novels. (0/6)

Travel
89. Take a family trip on the train from Rusk to Palestine and back.
90. Go to a ghost town.
91. Go to a Civil War Reenactment.
92. Go to Galveston.
93. Take Wesley to his first Astros game.
94. A-Z Challenge.

Blog
95. Get 15 followers on my blog. (2/15)
96. Comment on 1 blog that I follow each week. (1/143)
97. Catch up on Wesley's posts. (15/15) (08/26/09)
98. Post at least 1 blog a week. (1/143)

List
99. Document the meeting of each goal with a picture. (When Possible.)
100. Blog about the completion of each goal. (1/101)
101. Celebrate the end of the 1001 days with a girl's night out with Morgan.

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Saturday, April 30, 2011

Truth

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